as in see this tooth, to gaze upon, as it really is
to pull it as it as actually is, to excavate the
uncertainty. How much to bear is too much
What I mean is infancy, in all of its flaws,
adolescence and now adulthood. To be in adult
is to mock the past, but why. This tooth
is rotted, pull, baby, pull, please baby baby
please.
As in declaration can mean something
other, something other than a certain statement
Gaining minutes by the day, months by the week,
years, years and now you are old you say
to me conductor, I commend you on your
bravery but it is time you retire.
Conductor, you say, you have fallen asleep
at the post, on the job. Conductor, you say
you are sleepy no wonder you are sleepy
you are so sleepy, rest. I am old you say,
older by the day, older by the molecules
that are also uncertain.
I have tried to tell you once of these bones
that never grow right, leave me stagnant
and broken, how your hands feel around my
neck (in my fantasy, in my fantasy) as
you push the muscles into my bones,
until the white retina of sorrow is red, red.
I have tried to tell you of distance, faulty
and impotent, of a prerequisite on fire in
this drawer, here pull it out and remember
on record you said you would never leave
me and you did and came back and now
here is your parade, golden chalice, red
carpet Midwest love of soy beans and
corn fields and industry gone and soured,
roots down into your bowels, the devil
lives in your bowels, the devil's sequel.
This tooth, smelling foul, this tooth please
stay for the extraction, please be there for
the excavation, I couldn't possibly do it
without, you. No, you say and leave, no
muscles contract and disease contracts,
I stand, fall, stand fall. What part of you
don't you understand, what part of me
don't you understand without failing,
what part of anything can we even
believe has not rotted, is not drifting.
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