Dina & Dan Figure it Out

Sauce on the floor. What attention. Where is the dying and dying, the dying has come from somewhere, everything was dying before you left. I tripped in the kitchen, everything on the floor, this baking soda, this flour, this sugar, sauce on the floor. When we are on the floor. When all we do is stare. How can it be that our organs are the shapes of puke buckets at the hospital, how is it that our organs are the shapes of condiments at the grocery store? The other day I was dying for you and the next day I am not. Today is not the day, nor tomorrow either. We are exiting the highway when I tell you about the roads I used belong to, the remnants of the shops and gas stations overgrown with leaves and vines, a tree coming up through the roof of one old structure. We are sitting on the floor passing half a joint between us and I tell you about how I smoked the other half in the bedroom of one of my lovers when their pregnant friend was in the living room next door and how when I came out of the bedroom I apologized, I said, I am so sorry for smoking weed in the bedroom next door, and they said, o, it's fine, and I said, I guess I should have asked you first, its done now, I feel really weird and guilty, o it's fine, she said, my sister is a huge pothead and totally smoked and I said around you? as if it was a crime, and she said, yeah, I mean, last time I checked nothing can happen from second-hand smoke in the other room, and we all laughed and I was awkward because she was not a weird fucking pregnant lady, you know, she was, like, a realist. What does this mean. We are sitting on the floor and what attention. I am dying, you know, Dan, I am on the brink of death. We all are, I know, but I am more than other people. My heart, the old ticker, how's that old ticker, Dina, you ask, how is that old ticker. I cannot know the proportion of my heart to other organs at any given time, is it here, is it here, is it here. In an X-ray, it reveals, the heart is not where you think it is supposed to be. Your heart in its cavity in the mouth of organ-flesh. The heart and what it does for you. How we are not supposed to speak of the heart how it is a cliche. Dear Dan, I need you to know, that before you leave, when we are rolling around in the sauce on the floor after throwing it at each other, Dan, after I tripped in the kitchen and now we are holding hands and laughing and now, Dan, I need you to know, that when you leave, I will follow. No, the other way around, when I leave, you will follow. Dan, everything was dying before you left and now you are there and everything is alive again. Hold on.