Dan, listen to this

The last time I had my period I was with the person I fell in love in a 17th floor hotel room in a city I used to live in and know well. We were discussing all of the red flags they saw that told them they could not love me and that they could not even give me a chance in loving me even though I have been in love with people three times as good looking and have received love back in return, even if for a short while, even if years later.

I am in this hotel room and they fuck me with my tampon inside of me because I am afraid of taking it out and bleeding all over the bed, them, my legs. I do not want to see the blood. I only want to see blood if it is because they caused the blood. I do not want to remember that I am bleeding and have been for a week, a week early, of course. They wrap their fingers around the string of the extra large tampon and begin to jerk it in and out of me, every time a little deeper inside, so I gasp out of pain, mostly. When we are done doing whatever it is we think we are doing, I have to run to the bathroom and struggle to pull it out of me, it is so far inside. I am worried for two seconds I won't be able to get it out. Finally, I do, and it is oversized and full of fluid, heavy, weighty. I throw it on the bathroom floor. I run back out and they are masterbating but with the covers over their body and I ask what are you doing, what are you doing and finally they throw back the covers and say this, is that OK, and yes of course. The next moment I am jerking them off. The next moment it is the middle of the morning and dark, I am watching the fog lift from the city, they are on the edge of this huge King size bed, they never reach for me once, in the morning they leave so quietly I don't hear them.